State Strategy Planner Gifts

Jerry Brown.

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

Group Think Time

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"#Win!"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

Upward Progress

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Failure/Due Diligence

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."