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'... But I don't want to stop. I thought this was some sort of secret drinking club.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Vlad the Inhaler

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Self-esteem room

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

Man with broken leg in cast.

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K