Starting Medical Residency Pillows

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

Happy Birthday to you.

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

"Gross."

'Long shift?'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Turn your head and cough."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

Current location

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

Doctor surrounded by notes.

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"Do I need to know this stuff to get into medical school?"

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'