Starting A New Tech Job Gifts

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

I win...you blinked.

Interactive Underwear

Internet

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Reach for the Star.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Pipe Dream.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Make a lot of money."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

New Guy.

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Surfing the daily stress

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'