Starting A New Tech Job Gifts

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

'Here's your problem. You're using third-generation software but you're a first-generation computer user.'

I win...you blinked.

Interactive Underwear

Internet

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Reach for the Star.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Pipe Dream.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Make a lot of money."

New Guy.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Surfing the daily stress

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.