Starting A New Job Search T-Shirts

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Reach for the Star.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

New Guy.

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"Make a lot of money."

Surfing the daily stress

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."