Starting A New Job As An Auto Mechanic T-Shirts

When did you last have your oil changed?

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Killer Executive Suits.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Reach for the Star.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Surfing the daily stress

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Make a lot of money."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

New Guy.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'