Starting A Job T-Shirts

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

"So...do you have a job now?"

"I know, dude, it's hardly encouraging to finish school at home just to graduate so I can get a job working from home."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Carefree luggage.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

Reach for the Star.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

She was warned. Nethertheless she persisted.

"Make a lot of money."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Surfing the daily stress

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."