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Give me your sick...

Fighting the Pandemic

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Side effects may include....'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

Coronavirus

Health Care is in Trouble

"I don't think a hospital video consultation requires 'motivation'."

Urgent Care/Walk It Off

'Well, it didn't work, so now we'll try it your way.'

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

'I just need you to make notes on the chart, so that I know the patient is breathing and all.'

Divine intervention in the Covid-19 pandemic.

Hospital - Dawn

Vaccination In Cuba Against Covid

'How much is it doc?' 'Fif...fif...fif...seventy five dollars.'

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

'No, that's not his scary Halloween zombie costume, that's his scary ICD-10 rollout look.'