Starter Critics Mugs

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

The wonderful world of cheese.

Crap from the future.

My brilliant career

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

Preliminary Price Tag: $5,000,000,000

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'Here's your lemonade and here's some descriptive literature about my franchising opportunities.'

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'It's been going on for three years. When can we tell Scott it's really a shredder?'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'

"Of course you couldn't be replaced by an app. It would take at least two."

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"

'If this is a democracy, how come voters don't get matching funds?'

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."

False starts.

The Doorknob

'Seven companies in three years.'

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

Quite the entrepreneur...

'Because you're not a boy genius with a billion bucks - THAT's why you can't wear a hoodie to work.'

Mobsourcing

Akme Mannequin Factory

Go-Fund-Me for Start-Up into Alcohol Research

"Damn it, Eddie, you told me this script was stupid."