Starstruck Storyteller Gifts

Mark Wahlberg

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

'Hey,come on SIMON, DON'T go all shy now. It's not everyday you get the chance to meet your favourite Footballer in the flesh...'

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

'NASA is never going to believe this!'

Melanie Griffith

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

'Can you tell me where James Herriot lives?'

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

The canteen food's pretty awful...

'Hollywood pharmacy: 'Thank you! Have a paparazzi - filled day!'

Fan club

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

"I've made a discovery about our universe! It turns out you aren't the center of it Tim."

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

'I needed a little guidance on bulk pricing strategies... are you LISTENING?'

"One of his employees won the lottery!"

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'Police! Snow White we have complaints about your relationship with 'Grumpy', and one 'Dopey' some ten years ago.'

Diane Kruger

"I'll call it 'Saturn'. Hey - that's got a nice ring to it. . !"

Robot Bombs: A One Time Thing, Right?

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

He's very defensive about his personal space.