Starsigns Prints

"Gemini. You?"

"...Capricorn? You are right to think change is overdue at work and much is happening."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

One way only.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

"Make sure you get payment up front."

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

'Therapist is one word George!'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "

Pisces

Gemini/people

Mercury rising.

"And if I move Mercury over here, all the Libras go nuts."

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

'Far out! How did you pick me as a leo?'

'It's all been said already.'

Scorpio/scorpion

Beware of the Doug!

"We're just incompatible. I'm a Virgo and he's a complete pig!"