Star-spangled Analyst Pillows

US and the EU

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Truth

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Now, who can I trust with a pie chart?"

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

The Human Condition

'Can I Come In Soon?'

"Look! A brave man using the medium of dance to protest against the fascist coronavirus measures of the government!"

Ted Budd Caricature

Sport and Politics section of the newspaper exploding.

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.

Can't I just hand it back, like an MP?

'In the eventuality of a double dip...'

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

'I was not prepared for this!'

"Have you ever considered putting all your icky thoughts in a little box and keeping them there?"

'And the largest slice is mine.'

"Well, after we talked last summer, you never called me. I figured you lost interest."

"You're only winning because it's a wheelbarrow race."

'It's a matter of interpretation...to a politician 'contract' like 'manifesto' simply means an 'empty promise'.'

"Can I be in the control group?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

Snake charmer tries to improve the sales report.

"What...? I can quite any time I want!"

New And Improved Trump!

"Don't think of them as terrorist states. Think of them as terrorist markets."

'Affordable health care is nice, but affordable politicians would be nicer.'