Stand-up Supporter Prints

Standup translator...

'He's definitely not a top flite.'

"Hey, man - a taser is not a heckle."

Zombie standup

Snowprov

The Rooster Comedian.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

Applause

Saxophone Player.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"Am I sensing fear?"

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Ta Da!...

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"You've tested positive for being awesome. Just kidding - it was negative."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"I'll now take some rambling, nonsensical statements from the audience."

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Optometrist Humor

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'