Stakeholder Manager Mugs

OK, we've defined the project objectives. Now it's time to establish the stakeholders.

British savings accounts

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Don't just forage - upcycle!"

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

Failure/Due Diligence

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

'Crisis'

"I don't like the look of this."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

Tree Funeral

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"