Stage Show Mugs

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Just be yourself."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Pirate

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Modern Major General

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Theatre Crowd

Scarpia from Tosca

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

Tina Turner

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Midsummer Night's Dream

Music Hall Dancers

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'And the Dance Scholarship goes to...'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'