Stage Comedian T-Shirts

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"The Just Me Band"

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Zappo's Air Guitars.

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

Magic Act

An amplified harp

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

Musical Pipe

A family choir

A musician bowing a tiny guitar

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

Three people playing on the same flute.

"Tip my boy."

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'