Stage Charmer Mugs

"If you don't strike oil in the first minute then stop boring."

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

You're the olive in my martini

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Ballet dancer.

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

Take a bow!

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

"Pie chart"

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

TV stage door

Performance In The Bedroom

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Actor talking to unimpressed child

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Wordplay: Pantomime.

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

"Returns"

Fat Man Viewing Pie Chart Thinks About Real Pie

Magic Accident

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."