Staffing Solutions T-Shirts

"Holy smokes! Bill will be out sick for two months! How will we ever replace him?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Sales.

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

Getting through the week.

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"