Staffing Satire Enthusiast Pillows

When staffing agencies screw up.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

The height of fashion in 1796

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

reincarnated worm...

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Meat Grinder