Sporty Humor Pillows

The Dread Lock

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"Skate or die."

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

The best goalie in the world!

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'He's a bit confused after that last round.'

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

'He's definitely heading for a red card.'