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Reality Football

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'My feet are killing me.'

Bowled over again!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Mixed Doubles.

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

350 Feet.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Hockey Season.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.