Sports Jargon Lover Pillows

'How did your bowling go?. . . I didn't realize you eyesight was so bad.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"This is what we call a 'customer', or more accurately a 'potential profit centre.'"

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

"I propose the next person who says 'it is what it is,' we beat the living hell out of him."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Look at this - we're trying to merge with some of our acquisitions, and we're trying to acquire some of our mergers."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'It has everything... I love it!'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'I got my foot in the door...at a price!'

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

" 'Take over' is such a harsh term. We prefer corporate make over.' "

Business School - Center for the Study of Mumbo Jumbo - 3rd Floor.

The Department of People Who Can Still Say 'Paradigm' and 'Synergy' with Straight Faces.

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"Now that you're a creative director, it's very important to only say three things. 1. What's the big idea? 2. That's been done before. 3. Keep going."