Sports Debate Champ Pillows

Sometimes it takes me a little while to adjust!

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Now that's a win."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Hey...Didn't we build that?"

'I got tattoos to make a statement, but my teacher said I could do the same thing by joining the debating team.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."