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'A number one!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Football Chameleon

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Mixed Doubles.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Monica Seles

350 Feet.