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'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Cricket - The Pride of the Village.

"Pastrami. My favorite, Chad. But I asked for the 'sand wedge.'"

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Pole Vault Rules

'Here we go again...'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

The best goalie in the world!

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Football heads...

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Punishment for the kicker.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

Champions biting their medals