Sporting Absurdists Pillows

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Tourists and their Pets.

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Glance Exchange

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"Valet park only"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"I like fountains very much!"

Racketeer

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."