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"By the way, I like to play with intentional tagging."

'It's your wife with a second option.'

Fun with Ned-Ball.

"Just remember he's a southpaw..."

"Dearly beloved, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds!"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Bowled over again!

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'