Spooky Speech Writers T-Shirts

"First of all, I'd like to thank all of the little pumpkins who made this night possible."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Woodpecker carving pumpkins

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

Tim Burton

"Its been on the market for over two years. The estate agent reckons it's something to do with negative edibility!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's undead."

"It's the great pumpkin's psychotic uncle Mitch, Charlie Brown."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

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