Spoiler-averse Friend Prints

I witnessed something I can never unsee. What happened, little buddy? Some guy walking out of the "Star Wars" premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show. A bunch of fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him. I don't think I can ever unsee five Ewoks and a slave Leia beating a Wookie senseless with plastic light sabers. The Wookie had it coming.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Spoiler alert."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"You're spoiling that dog!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Spoiler Alert

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

I think this is the episode of "Leave It to Beaver" where Wally and Eddie chain Lumpy's car to a tree. Couldn

"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

'I choose not to read Revelations, too many spoilers.'

"Guess who expires next..."

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"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"Hold up! No spoilers!"

"I told you not to tell me how it ends!"

"Spoiler alert!"

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."

"Do you want this with or without spoiler alerts?"

SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.

"Oh no, have you heard about Prince Philip?"

"Spoiler alert!"

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"Spoiler alert! It's just Captain Bob's Savor Fish Shreds again."

"I knew the Titanic would sink, so I told everybody. Then they kicked me out of the cinema."

"Oh wow, you won't believe what happens at the end!"

'Ugh, I hate when the trailer gives everything away.'

"Don't tell me the ending."

"Woah! I haven't read it yet. Spoilers!"

Spoiler Alert!