Spiritual Wisdom Lovers T-Shirts

"Hypochondria is 100% fatal."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

Down With Wikipedia

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

Mass Confucian

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

Why don't we invite Hypothesis? It's always a good idea to have an educated guest… Party List. Mesomides. Loxias. Anaximenes. Thales.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

Socrates

"Reverend your sermon was divine, naturally."

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

'There's got to be more to the Eightfold Path than 'don't worry, be happy.''

Plato

"Winners don't leave Yelp reviews."

"Heaven: The ultimate gated community."

Bartenders making cocktails

A cheerleader doing a high kick

Garbage is a collector's item.

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

Chicken nesting in a monk's head.

'Think about this, Kid...If I knew the meaning of life, would I be spending mine, sitting on the top of a mountain?'

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

When I was young I worked at being hip, now I hope my hip keeps working.

"The secret of my long life is coffee....how did you guess?"

Headless ghost listening to ghetto blaster.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Fortune Cookies

A portent of things to come: the sore throat of Socrates.

'I don't know what's wrong with me. It's gotten so I can't tell the difference between the Truth and a truism anymore!'

"Simplify your life! Stop stuffing French fries, onion rings, and who knows what else into your cheeseburgers!"

Ancient Secrets to a Happy Life