Spiritual Thinker Prints

"Jitters on Wall Street today over rumors that Alan Greenspan said, 'A rich man can as soon enter Heaven as a camel fit through the eye of a needle.' "

The day after the meek inherit the Earth.

"O.K., so the meek shall inherit the earth, and the rich will have a hard time getting into Heaven. But what about the middle class?"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

"What does God do with all that prayer data?"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'I'd like to think I made a difference.' -'Arrogant jackass.'

Can someone please tell me why they call this Good Friday?

'It's some kind of open-source thing -- He's giving them free will.'

"No, I didn't give them free will just to evade responsibility!"

'Satan wants to meet you on Main Street at high noon.'

'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.'

'Er... vicar - does the church have a position on the donation of GM vegetables for the Harvest Festival?'

"Which God are you praying to? The one who caused the tragedy or the one who did nothing to stop it?"

Sign in Heaven: BEWARE OF NOTHING

'A word of warning - don't believe everything you hear!'

"You were only thankful on Thanksgiving."

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.

"We'll release it under, 'fictional short stories'... it's not like anyone is going to take this literally."

Spying on Heaven

Good news: Bible...Bad noose.

'What about the commandment about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you?'

The Pope.

'It's the Kukulkan witnesses inviting us to read the Popol Vuh.'

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Copyright on the Ten Commandments

"Is something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?"

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Thanks, but we were hoping for a middle-east peace plan!"

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"God really must love the poor - he made so many of them."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."