Spiritual Soul Gifts

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"You've been served."

No caption. (Friar wears a cross and the chord leads to his ears as it does with a MP3 player.)

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"Our religious friends are praying, our atheist friends are sending good thoughts, and our lawyer friends are figuring out who to sue."

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE, 'You have the wrong idea, sir -- we're not liquor consultants.'

If youth is so important, why didn't God give the ten commandments to someone younger?

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Romance

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

National Everything Awareness Day

Frog to frog: 'Do you promise to love me warts and all?'

"A full moon! It's like Mother Nature turning on a night light!"

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"Little help?"

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Thank you, Essential Workers

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"I heard they mate for life."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Seriously, you looked so perfect that at first, I thought you were a lure..."

'In Love'

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"Isn't the universe wonderful?" "I thought there was supposed to be fireworks."

'Wow, this guy is DEEP.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'