Spiritual Healer T-Shirts

"Can you cleanse the space of all the roach and mice spirits?"

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

"There is a man at the door who needs seventeen dollars to buy some sweet grass to burn as a spiritual cleansing agent during his prayer ceremonies."

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

New Age Store.

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"All the celebrities come here."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"How do I get down?"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."