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Moses Lost in the Desert....Year 40

"I'm going to India to find myself..."

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

"Climb every mountain? Are you sure?"

'Oh, crap.'

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

'Is anybody there?'

'Yoga! Meditation! Enlightenment!'

SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'We're supposed to love our enemies? -- Is this some sort of ZEN thing?'

"My Harold was thinking about becoming a Buddhist, but then his knee went out and he couldn't sit that way, so he became a Methodist."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"NOW are you ready to renounce your sinful ways?"

"Don't ask me, I never get off this darn mountain!"

Miracle: Walking on Water

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?"

"I was social distancing. Until you just showed up."

'Hey! I hope you got clean feet - we have to swim in this.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

'Well, that was unexpected.'

'I do like a nice bedtime read.'

Mindfulness hour.

'There isn't EITHER more to life than enlightenment!'

'Hello? Al's Round the World Tours?'

'Heavens forbid - I might come back as you!'

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

"Why should I 'outgrow' my invisible friend? Isn't God your invisible friend?"

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

Heavenly Halo

'You'd better not get caught with that. The rules clearly state that you can't take it with you.'

'No other gods before him? - What about multiculturalism?'

Retrospect Road

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'Do people have soles?'

Cort, I'm ready to be a person of faith, it's totally hip. I'm ready to get my religion on. I'm down with the divine, you know what I'm saying? I want to get inizzle with the lordizzle. I must pray now.

Well, what did you think they were all praying to?