Spirited Jokester Mugs

"For the last time - you and your horsie get away from me and stay away!"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Men dancing

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Leaving cards.

"You idiots … we lost!"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'