Spin Doctor Humorist Gifts

'Don't think of my client as a sex offender, Your Honor - think of him as having special needs.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

World Cup Fever

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

Chinese History: Redwash

The Truth

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

'I had this two years ago.'

"Don't forget - I was manipulating the will of the people before manipulating the will of the people was cool."

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"We specialize in corporate slogans, business brochures and annual reports to shareholders..."

Spinochio

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"I didn't know you could get a PhD in Spin."

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"