Spider Scare Enthusiast Pillows

Ned was having the most fabulous dream! He was wrapped up, snug as a bug in a rug, that is until...

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dinner at the Trapdoors

The Amazing Man-Spider

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Extreme Bungy

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Child makes a toy and frightens himself.

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

Idle parts

'Sure, but will you still love me when I bite off your head and eat it?'

'I want you to bring me one.'

Jackson Pollock the Spider

Spider's Web Trampoline

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Are we there yet?'

Spider Web Stocking

OMG UR HOT

'Looks like the soup comes with flies.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

Spider Press-Ups

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"I won't bring any more friends home unless you let me play with them first!"

Halloween 2008.

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

Spider Exhibit. It says spiders can have hundreds of children at the same time. No wonder they climb the walls! (Published originally on July 23, 2002.)

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'