Spicy Snack Lover Pillows

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Super Heroes.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Love is when you watch television together.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"The bagels are better in New York."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'You're texting? Wait--'

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Works every time."

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Cookie Surveillance