Speedy Service Lover T-Shirts

"Hurry up, MacDonalds can make a shake in 5 seconds"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Fast Food Restaurant

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

"Thanks for waiting."

Therapy - mobile.

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

Psychic Dating Hotline

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

race car drivers.

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

Jacques Villeneuve: I'm a lousy driver, but she loves me anyway.

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

Maid.

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

Super Bran Flakes.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Cheetah riding in wheelchair with cheetah legs.

A waiter carrying a tray of drinks

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

"Yes Mr Wilkins, we do provide a comprehensive 24 hours service but I'm afraid that doesn't include a cashpoint facility."