Speedy Service Lover T-Shirts

"Hurry up, MacDonalds can make a shake in 5 seconds"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

Fast Food Restaurant

Two men jogging past one another trying to get as many words in as possible.

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"Thanks for waiting."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

Psychic Dating Hotline

Therapy - mobile.

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

'Hello, Room Service? Send up the works!'

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

race car drivers.

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

Maid.

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

'Wizzo Wotsits - how can I help you? Just putting you through to customer services. . .'

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

A waiter carrying a tray of drinks

Cheetah riding in wheelchair with cheetah legs.

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

"Yes Mr Wilkins, we do provide a comprehensive 24 hours service but I'm afraid that doesn't include a cashpoint facility."

"I've added eighteen percent to your bill because it's more than fifteen percent."