Speechmaking T-Shirts

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

How does this sound? 'The generous pay award reflects the additional responsibilities, workload and stress of the Chief Executive's position.

Outspoken

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

First Word

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'