Speech-writing Professional Mugs

Trump's Speechwriters

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Speech

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Time for speeches

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Masters of Political Oratory

"The White House Washington"

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."