Speech-writing Professional Mugs

Trump's Speechwriters

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Speech

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"The success of the guillotine helped it's inventor get ahead...let me rephrase that..."

Time for speeches

"The White House Washington"

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."