Speech Events Pillows

"And lastly, I'd just like to say a big '*&$@' you to Mrs. Peters, my fourth grade teacher."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Trappist Monk Discord

Green Balloon

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."