Speech Bubble Humorist T-Shirts

"I know what I look like. But I'm an atheist, and I reject your theocentric nomenclature."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

The world's first exploding cricket box...

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

"Hey how do you spell Abominable?"

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

'I could murder a pint!'

'To summarize: the visual joke brings on a very fast reaction, but the verbal joke is remembered longer.'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Thirteen states sounds so unlucky --- Are you sure we can't Nova Scotia to join?

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."

"Excuse me....water!!"

He suspected the driver's airbag was not functioning correctly.

'Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It's not in the pie or the baby's prunes - it's on 'Heartbreak Motel' Oh baby, so lonely...'

Fly having an idea.

'I speak three languages, if you include text-ese and my fake British accent.'

'It's for you.'

Revenge of the Fish

"I'm Eggspecting."

"The book ends are for people who like to read between the lions."

"Hey little buddy, let's team up and save the world...Then we'll have pizza, you ever tried pepperoni pizza?"

Millennials Eye Chart

Eighties Throwback.

"I don't want your money, I want you to be my friend on facebook!"