Speculative Investor Mugs

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Stock market investment advice

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

'The market dropped sharply on the rumor that new sell off rumors in the financial sector will lead to more widespread rumors...'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

Department of Pure Speculation.

Wall Street Down

International Speculators

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

Stock Market Adventure

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"Now do you see, Betty, what a little luck, a few sound investments and the shameless inflation of corporate profits through bogus transactions can buy."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."