Speaker Circuit Critic Prints

Motivational speaker says: '...moneymaking strategy #1: be a grossly overpaid motivational speaker.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

No Elgar!

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

The Jose Padilla Experience

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

The Music Critic.

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

A singer being criticised

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Capitalism

Clarence Thomas

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'