Sparkling Wine Aficionado T-Shirts

'Is that why they call it Cham-pain?'

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"He changed water into wine!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

Sauvignon Bonk

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Bubbly

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."