Spa Gifts

'It wasn't any good for spells but it makes a great jacuzzi!'

"I'm just worried the knots are the only thing holding me together."

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Hot Tub Frosty

'This must be how the 1% feel.'

'This won't hurt.'

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.

'I always use lots of oil when I give a massage...oops!'

"Man, this is just the perfect temperature!"

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

This Year's Spa

Spa: Pamper yourself.

'She's a useless prop forward, but the lads won't say a bad word against her...'

Who knew this place had a hot tub.

Fish Pedicure

'Good news honey! We're able to afford that jacuzzi!'

"I figured as long as I was having the thorn taken out of my paw, might as well have a body scrub and get my mane redone."

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"Every once in a while I go to the sewage treatment plant to get cleaned up."

"They've sold out of massages, dear, but I've booked us a romantic couples' colonoscopy."

'...but on the bright side...can't you just feel your pores opening?'

Champagne Bath

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Woman in a bathtub.

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Medium well, please.'

'Are they finished? Right, wait until I report this to trading standards!'

'Mom's Spa'