Soup Message Sender Gifts

'When I was your age, the closest thing I had to texting was spelling things out in my alphabet soup.'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

I can't smile without you...

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'It's your S.O.S. note returned with spelling corrections on it.'

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

'Do keep the comments coming, this one is from Will the Miller from Marlow Bottom. . .'

Studies show that for every hour of time-zone shift, it takes three days to fully reestablish your circadian rhythm. Can't do the math? Here are some handy clues you may have jet-lag!

'If they install word recognition software in my texting program, I wouldn't have to know how to spell or read. Ain't technology great?'

'I hate doing Christmas cards!'

'Between us we've got 2000 Facebook friends, but we only know one person well enough to send us a Christmas card.'

Christmas postie!

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

U. S. POST OFFICE, 'Well, that's enough postage, but just barely.'

"My squaw's no idea how much these messages cost, she thinks firewood grows on trees."

'Don't forget your p.s.'

Boy stays on grandpa's 'check list.'

'If the Lord knows each time a sparrow falls to earth, it seems like a Minister of the Gospel could at least remember to mail a few Christmas cards.'

I have 1035 Facebook friends. Do I have to send each one a holiday card?

'The post is so unreliable - these days I have to slit birthday card envelopes myself so it looks like i put some money in.'

Semaphore Problems

I don't need a cell phone...I'm going to text message you in the alphabet soup!

'Oh, it's from my new pen pal on the other island.'

"Disgraceful! A message in a bottle -- in a PLASTIC bottle, if you please!"

'Airmail.'

"T-E-X-T M-E."

"I create spam for the internet."