Sound Wave Whiz T-Shirts

"I love hearing that lonesome wail of the train whistle as the magnitude of the frequency of the wave changes due to the doppler effect."

The first car accident.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Man embarrassed by a schoolboy's superior knowledge of Greek

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I need both hands for steering.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'What do you mean, you just sell coffee? I don't understand, what kind of shop is that?'

First Speeding Fine.

Millipede motorist

Johann Strauss

Cow Sonar

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

'Norman's building a small Hadron Collider.'

Compact Disc: "01011100110001011011010001111...."

"When I can't sleep I count Powerpoint slides."

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

Mario Caravadossi hides Angelotti

"Do you mind?"

'My mum can play the piano by ear.'

"I've got it! If we don't send Stanley Kauffman any tickets, maybe he won't come!"

"The standard model accounts for the 12 known particles of matter that interact via the strong, weak and electromagnetic fundamental forces. Okay, smart girl, do you understand that?"

"I'm going to call it zero."

'Ugh! I TOLD Thak it needed balancing!'

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'