Sound Check Humorist Mugs

'Dude, we told you not to stage dive during the sound check.'

At the rock concert...

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

Suggestion Box for the Wather.

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

"I'm hoping my stethoscope is broken."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

'Enough, Hank. I'm tired of pulling your finger.'

Early phone sex lines - 'I'm lifting my petticoat...and there's my ankle!'

'That's your misfortune, and none of my own, I'm afraid.'

"Hi honey, I'm gnome!"

Closing Laugh Optician

"OMG! You're still there! I'm going to have to out you on hold again while I figure out another way to get rid of you."

"Say 'ahhhhhhhh!'"

'Your call is very important to us, unless you're an IMPOSTOR.'

'Please stay on the line -- Your call is very important to us.... important to us.... important to us.... important to us....'

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."